Survivors Speak OUT member reflects on attending the UN General Assembly

Having just returned from the Survivors Speak OUT network's successful speech at the UN General Assembly, SSO Co-ordinator, Kolbassia, reflects on the trip and what needs to happen next.

The Survivors Speak OUT network (SSO) left London for New York in a positive mood, ready to deliver our speech on sexual violence at the United Nations General Assembly. Although we had to go through some vigorous questioning from immigration officers, and this brought back some bad memories, I wasn't downbeat because I knew that the task ahead was of great importance. There was no time to feel sorry for my own sake. And the thought of SSO speaking courageously on behalf of countless other victims of torture helped ease any pain.

I have been with SSO for many years, right from the beginning. We have spoken at the European Parliament, at the Foreign and Commonwealth Office, and at the Conservative Party conference. But never have SSO participated in such a high profile event, with so many key decision makers and international leaders all in one room. And that does not even include the thousands, or hundreds of thousands, who might have watched us on television! Sitting alongside Foreign Secretary William Hague MP and Special Representative of the United Nations Secretary General on Sexual Violence in Conflict, Zainab Bangura, we were getting lots of attention but we never lost sight of why we were there.

We are not pop stars or movie actors, and we don't want public recognition for anything else other than to have the voice of survivors heard – to bring positive change to other people's lives, to make sure no-one else goes through the horrible ordeal we did. If we were pop-stars or movie-actors we could chart our success in record sales or film earnings. But for us, there is only one goal – an end to torture and the full rehabilitation of survivors.

This was an important step in the right direction.

By the end of the event, over 100 countries had pledged allegiance to the UK government's Prevention of Sexual Violence in Conflict initiative. Included in them were countries as diverse as Korea, Austrailia, Croatia and the Democratic Republic of Congo. Such support gives us hope we might be able to bring torture to an end but the real test comes now, when those countries have to put their words of encouragement into real action.

The task ahead will be difficult because sexual violence continues to be a prevalent act, both in and out of conflict. There is no running away from this reality. But if this declaration is supported – emotionally, physically and financially – then maybe we will be able to tell our children, rather than our grandchildren, that we are winning the fight against evil in this world.

Looking down from the plane on the way back from the United States, I reflected on my own journey as well as SSO's development as a network. I thought about what it means to be a survivor in this world – with all the good and all the bad down there below. It can be quite daunting to think that your duty is to continue the battle against your perpetrators. Every day you have to fight, and beat, those demons calling for revenge. But the real victory is not about personal gain or retribution – if this were the case, there would be no difference between us and them.

The real victory is inspiring change.

113 signatories says we did a good job.