Finding resilience through the darkets times - Barin's story

Barin was leading a happy life in his home country but everything changed abruptly when he found himself in the middle of a protest. He was arrested, detained and severely tortured for many days.

Barin comes from an ethnic minority group which suffers persecution in his country, and is so worried about his safety that he doesn’t want to share where he is from. Despite this, he has fond memories of his early life. He said “I grew up in a village with a big family. We were all farmers. I grew up having fun, I had lots of friends in my community. Lots of love. It was amazingly good before I had to leave”.

When Barin reached the UK, at first he felt relieved. “The first three, four days, I thought I was finally safe”, he said. “I thought all the problems had gone now. But they were only starting. I thought I left the troubles back home, in the past. But the past is with me.” 

Barin was highly traumatised by his experience of detention and torture, alongside further trauma experienced on his journey to the UK. He was suffering from severe PTSD symptoms, including dissociation, which is when the mind becomes disconnected from the present moment. Barin was repeatedly reliving his worst memories, as if they were happening all over again. Each time, he became completely disconnected from the present. He was suicidal and ended up having to be hospitalised. That’s when he was finally referred to Freedom from Torture.

I was still scared, but I felt better than in the therapy room. The room reminded me of prison. In the garden, I could hear birds. I could see flowers. I was really free. It was amazing.”

When Natasha, his therapist, started sessions with him, she realised how deeply affected Barin was. He was making active plans to kill himself and was deeply suspicious of other people and organisations. The therapy work was challenging because of his severe dissociation. At the slightest mention of his detention, Barin would experience powerful flashbacks and become very distressed and unresponsive, meaning it was hard to bring him back into the present.

Despite the challenges, Barin demonstrated a remarkable sense of resilience. He would not miss a single therapy session, no matter what was going on in his life. Even if he was sick, even if he had to walk because he couldn’t afford the bus.

With time, he started to feel listened to and safe. He started to realise that he could feel all his emotions and leave them in the session. He was so patient. He said, “I could see the progress at the time, even if it was so small. After each session, I was counting the days until the next session.”

It took some time to find the best type of therapy to help Barin. As he couldn’t talk much without violently reliving his trauma. Natasha decided they should try a session talking in the garden instead of her office. This was a major turning point in his therapy journey. 

Walking in the fresh air, smelling the herbs, not only kept Barin’s mind in the present but also tapped into his connection to nature from his early life and reminded him of his motivation to help him through therapy. He felt so much happier in the garden. “I was still scared, but I felt better than in the therapy room. In the garden, I could hear birds. I could see flowers. I was really free. It was amazing.”

As Natasha, Barin, and their interpreter walked in the garden, Barin could talk more about his experience whilst staying grounded. They worked as a team and Barin was able to make incredible progress. He is now learning English and looking forward to the future. One day, he would like to open his own garage, and he’s working hard towards that goal.

Thanks to generous donations, Barin received help from the welfare team when he was at risk of becoming homeless. The accommodation issues he experienced caused instability in his life, which slowed down his progress in therapy.

Please note, Barin's name has been changed and a model is used in the photograph to protect his identity.