I just hope that one-day peace will be everywhere across the world

Abdul-Satar* survived torture in Syria. Today he is a client at Freedom from Torture and is trying to rebuild his family’s life in the UK. Below he shares his experience and perceptions of the UK and how he will spend Christmas.

Abdul-Satar was first arrested and tortured after he attended a peaceful demonstration against the Syrian government. He was raped, beaten and saw many others endure the same. He paid a bribe to be released but officials came for him a second time where he was arrested and tortured again. He feared for his family too: an official came to his home and beat his wife with such force that she suffered a miscarriage. Abdul-Satar and his family were left with no choice but to flee their country.

These are his words...

Whether I am happy or sad, I always try to smile. Christmas is important because it is a time to smile. I try to remember to smile in people’s faces, not to frown at them. No matter what the person is going through that day, whether they’re going through a hard time, smiling is always a blessing.

Now, in the UK, I’m very happy and have a good life. I just want all those bad memories to fade away and to stop thinking about them all the time.

This country opened its doors to us. Here, in the UK there is love, on both sides. I found freedom. I found love. I found respect in this country.

I haven’t enjoyed life until I came to this country. It’s very hard for me to forget what happened to me in Syria. And I feel sorry for all those who lost their lives in prison and all those who are still in terrible situations now. It was a terrible life and a terrible thing to have to see. I don’t want to remember it.

When I came to the UK I had no idea what to expect and I was very scared. But a month or two passed and I was really surprised how much respect I got and get from people here. For example, me and my neighbours all try to help each other with our shopping. I am a good cook so me and my wife like to share traditional Syrian food. I still don’t believe myself that I am getting treated in this way.

This country opened its doors to us. Here, in the UK there is love, on both sides. I found freedom. I found love. I found respect in this country.

People in my community told me I should come to Freedom from Torture where I could just talk and say what’s inside me. I didn’t know what to make of it until I met the therapist here. She encouraged me to say everything in my heart – it was like carrying a mountain on my shoulders before talking to her.

When I come here [Freedom from Torture] I feel so happy I can’t even describe it – I feel like I’m visiting my family and siblings. I will love and respect this organisation until the day I pass away.

For me, Freedom from Torture is like a part of me. It's a very safe environment because you can talk about the things you never normally can, and gradually forget about all the bad things. It’s hard, but if you don’t talk, it will all explode like a balloon. When I come here I feel so happy I can’t even describe it – I feel like I’m visiting my family and siblings. I will love and respect this organisation until the day I pass away.

My kids enjoy Christmas. We have dinner with our friends and go for a walk to see how everyone is celebrating. I always like to give the kids things so that they don’t feel like we are different. I told my therapist that it’s when I’m alone that I’m thinking about my past, so I try to spend time with my family and to leave the house to speak to others.

Christmas is a time to share love and kindness and I’d like to thank Freedom from Torture’s supporters who make everything this organisation does possible. I hope that at Christmas we can all remember to help all those in need – anyone with a problem, or with a barrier in their way.

 I hope that at Christmas we can all remember to help all those in need – anyone with a problem, or with a barrier in their way.

I would love to be able to do something for the country that welcomed me with its arms open. And I just hope that one-day peace will be everywhere across the world.

* Names have been changed to protect the safety of survivors and their families.